


Unresolved Sexual tension

by skargasm



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-12-03 19:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>→  It was giving him a headache.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unresolved Sexual tension

**Title:** → Unresolved Sexual tension  
 **Rating:** → R  
 **Pairing:** → Spike/Xander  
 **Part:** → 1/1  
 **Beta(s):** → Unbeta'd but proofread  
 **Prompt(s):** → Prompt “Watching” @ [](http://12-stories.livejournal.com/profile)[**12_stories**](http://12-stories.livejournal.com/) & Prompt #344 : Murder @ [](http://tamingthemuse.livejournal.com/profile)[**tamingthemuse**](http://tamingthemuse.livejournal.com/)  
 **Genre:** AU  
 **Disclaimer:** → Mutant Enemy  & Joss own them – I just make them do dirty/bad/wrong then give them back!  
 **Graphic:** → Banner by [](http://skargasm.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://skargasm.livejournal.com/)**skargasm**  
 **Word count:** → 722  
 **Summary:** → It was giving him a headache.....  


* * *

[ ](http://imgur.com/YasnONU)

  


* * *

”It is.”

“It isn't.”

“It bloody well is!” The tones were getting more strident and massaging his temples Giles wondered how much longer it was going to go on for and if he should intervene.

“Case in point, vampires are already dead and have been buried. How can it be murder then?!” Xander sat back in his chair, arms folded over his chest looking smug.

“Semantics, but fine, I'll give you that one!”

“HA!”

“But - “ Spike held up one long finger in order to silence Xander before his gloating got out of control. “What about natural born demons eh? You meet enough of them on your little patrols and do away with them. What about that then eh?!” Now the vampire looked smug as he rolled yet another cigarette that he would no doubt dismantle in a messy flurry once he remembered he wasn't allowed to smoke whilst in the shop.

“That's not murder!”

“No?”

“It's – it's self defence! Most of them are coming at us with claws and long teeth and all sorts – what should we do? Ask them politely not to eviscerate and put us into a stew pretty please?”

“Self defence, luv, unless you're the one who bursts into their homes with the slayer screaming in that high pitched voice of hers and Red blasting them with magic and you with your bloody great axe? That's home invasion that is, made worse by you lot killing 'em all off without so much as a by your leave!”

They had both stood up and were facing off against each other as their voices rose and jabbing fingers were used to emphasise points being made.

He had to admit they made an attractive couple, the contrast in skin tone and colouring a flattering mix. In his younger days (not that he was that old thank you very much), either of them would have made a more than pleasant dalliance. Nowadays he liked his relationships with a lot less drama and angst – either of these two would no doubt come with a hearty dose of both.

His head was throbbing and the loudness of their argument wasn't helping in the slightest. And perhaps that little devil that was constantly on his shoulder making inappropriate comments and/or suggestions as to what he could do with **both** of them was pushing him.

“Oh for goodness sake, will the pair of you please get out of my shop and go and _shag like bunnies_ somewhere!! All of this sexual tension is giving me a headache and I have work to do!”

Complete and utter silence met his statement, both Xander and Spike looking at him as though he had grown two heads.

“My goodness, don't tell me neither of you realised what was going on? Good grief!!! Xander, if Spike wasn't impotent in the tooth sinking department, he would love to bite you whilst buggering you senseless. Spike, if Xander could get past his oh so teenage inhibitions and squeamishness, he would be more than happy to bend over and take it like a man. From you. Because he has, as the American so eloquently describe it, the hots for you. So secrets exposed, interests out there in the open, could you both please get out of my shop?”

Whilst speaking, he chivvied, pushed and shoved the two shocked individuals outside and slammed and locked the door before they could marshal their wits to respond. He stood for a moment with his back to the door.

“I'm not impotent. Apart from the biting thing like. Just saying.” Spike sounded sullen and a little embarrassed.

“I – inhibitions are not always a bad thing!” That was Xander, his voice slightly squeaky.

“About the rest of it though - “

“Well, yeah, G-man may not have been _completely_ off base - “

“Your place?” A hint of the normal swagger and cockiness was back.

“Absolutely.” Xander's faux English accent was awful but then he heard footsteps walking away until he was left with blessed quiet. Rubbing at his forehead, he headed back to his office and his bottle of single malt – playing cupid was thirsty work and it might help his headache.

* * *

fin

* * *


End file.
